First Of The Blazing Forest
by Brighteyes of Thunderclan
Summary: A friend of yours is a friend of mine. She hates me she hates me she hates me. Broken broken broken broken broken broken. Gone. The Perfect Disaster.


_I wish…_ Doepaw sighed. She lay in the shade of the apprentice den. It had been four moons since Wolfpaw had told her to leave him alone. _Wait, he's Wolf_heart_ now. _She thought bitterly. _And she's Turtlesong. Then there's me, little old Doepaw. Why?_ She rolled over onto her back, thinking maybe the new point of view would help her see clearly. Instead, it was even more confusing. The shapes were upside down, and cat's ears were where their paws should be. Doepaw squinted, as if that would make things clearer. No. Instead, she got a massive headache and the colors blended together, into one big, spinning blur. She groaned and rolled back over.

_But I guess that's life. A big, confusing blur, where everything isn't as it seems. _Doepaw decided. Standing up, she looked around camp. The trees were slowly turning brilliant shades of red, orange, and gold. Like fire. The air smelt of dry, crumbling fallen leaves and clear water. Sparrows chattered, and the sound of scampering squirrels echoed through the forest. It was the first day of Leaffall. As she padded towards the freshkill pile, Doepaw saw Rosepaw and Tumblepaw emerging from the wilting fern fronds with a few mice between them. Doepaw nodded her approval, and Rosepaw beamed happily. Doepaw smiled. _Being the oldest apprentice has its perks._ She thought. Then, a light drop hit her face. And another. And another. _Rain. _She thought. _Of course._ The fawn colored she-cat looked away from the younger two, and turned her attention towards the enticingly fat squirrel lying prone on the top of the freshkill pile. Just as she reached for it, her white muzzle bumped another.

"Oh! I'm so, so sorry! I-" She mewed, trailing off when she realized to whom she spoke. The other cat didn't notice her fading voice. Instead, he sat, rubbing his nose with a large paw.

"No, it's fine, really. I wasn't looking where I was going. Hey, are you oka-" He asked, looking up. When his eyes met hers, he stopped immediately. Doepaw felt the sparks. They flew whenever she saw him, but now…they were so close. Whiskers brushing, faces a mouse length apart…She could practically feel the energy, the chemistry. But he turned away.

"Wolfheart!" she called after him. "Wolfheart, wait!" The gray-brown tabby turned, and eyed her.

"What?" He meowed, voice flat.

"Um, I-I was wondering…do you still want the squirrel?" Doepaw stammered. _Stupid! The one time he talks to you, in two whole moons, and that's what you say? Doepaw, you idiot! _The warrior opened his mouth to reply, when a mottled black tail flung itself across it.

"Oh, no, we're fine, Doepaw. We'll find something else, right darling?" Turtlesong purred, nuzzling her mate. Doepaw resisted the urge to hurl. And, from the look on his face, Wolfheart was too.

"Of course, Turtlesong." He choked out. The young warrior smiled.

"See you later, Doepaw!" She called as they walked away.

"Yeah, okay." Doepaw meowed, "See you…la-" Her cousin and ex-friend disappeared into the warrior's den. "-ter." Doepaw finished dejectedly. Head hung low, she trudged back to the apprentice den. _A friend of yours is a friend of mine, Turtlesong._ She thought. _But not anymore…_

"Hey, Doepaw! Wanna practice some battle moves? Huh?" Tumblepaw chirped, bouncing towards her. His dark tortie tail waved through the air excitedly.

"No, thanks. But have fun, Tumblepaw." Doepaw sighed, flopping down into her nest in the apprentice den.

"Why not? It'll be _fun_!" Rosepaw insisted.

"I-I'm not feeling too great, guys…maybe I'll just get to sleep early and we can practice tomorrow?" She asked, closing her eyes.

"Oh, okay…" Tumblepaw mewed. "Feel better soon!"

"I'll try, Tumblepaw." Doepaw murmured, "But nothing can heal a broken heart." She was lulled into oblivion, to the steady thrum of rain against the brambles, and crashing thunder.

"Hey," Turtlesong purred seductively. "Doing anything tonight, handsome?" Wolfheart glanced over to find his mate lying in his nest.

"Turtlesong…" He growled. _Why again? I've already told her no, a thousand times, and she can't get it through her thick head!_ "We've talked about this."

"But Wolfheart!" She whined.

"No. I said no." He stated firmly, a hint of annoyance in his mew. _Why can't she just see that we don't work anymore?_

"But I want kits! Come on, they'd be gorgeous!" Turtlesong insisted. She stood up and walked towards him, pressing her silky muzzle against his ear. "And they'd be _ours_." She whispered.

"How many times do I have to tell you? No means _no_!" Wolfheart hissed, pulling away., "I'm not ready for this, Turtlesong. I-I don't think either of us are." _Or, at least not one together…_

"Ready for what?" She pouted, sitting down and pressing her face into his shoulder.

"For-for a real commitment. It was different when we were apprentices…we were young, and foolish, and we didn't have a real idea of the future and-" Wolfheart meowed, looking past Turtlesong and her injured expression.

"But Wolfheart! You promised me! You said we'd be mates! That we'd have litters of kittens together! That you'd love me _forever_!" Turtlesong wailed.

"I think we both just need some time…to think, and to-" Wolfheart maintained his position.

"To think? You don't think I _know_ you've been thinking? That you haven't been thinking about us, but about _her_? You think I'm that stupid? Wolfheart, I know you've kept her on your mind ever since-ever since that gathering! Don't deny it!" Turtlesong hissed, tears spilling down her face.

"I'm just trying to say-" Wolfheart meowed, only to be cut off again.

"Stop it! Just stop it! I hate you!" Turtlesong screamed. Wolfheart's eyes widened. _Oh, no…what did I do? _

"Turtlesong, please," He mewed, looking at his mate for the first time.

"No! Leave me alone! Go! I never want to see you again!" Turtlesong shrieked, swiping an unsheathed-paw down Wolfheart's cheek. The stunned tom fled the den, racing through camp, oblivious to all the stares of his clanmates.

_She hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me_ He thought, the words running through his head like startled prey. _She hates me she hates me she hates me._ Thunder crashed and lightning flashed in the stormy sky above him, but Wolfheart raced on. _She hates me she hates me she hates me._ He found himself beside the river. The gushing, flowing bubbling river, swollen with rainwater. The once crystalline water was dark with sediments and it swirled viciously, threatening to drag anything and everything to a watery grave. Wolfheart stared at it. _She hates me she hates me she hates me._ He thought, mind wild.

He'd never been hated before. Never in his life had he been the object of such a pure, raw emotion. It broke him, shattered that deep knowledge of who he was that held the tom together. _She hates me she hates me she hates me I'm broken She hates me she hates me she hates me I'm broken, broken, broken…._ The churning water's violent waves lapped at his paws. _Broken broken broken broken_ Booming thunderheads clashed above him. _Broken broken broken broken_ Lightning flared, illuminating the flooded forest, with dark skeletal branches and deathly silence. _Broken broken broken broken_ Wolfheart looked around wildly. Every shadow, every shape, they all looked like her. Turtlesong. _She hates me she hates me she hates me_ Suddenly, a large, clumsy crashing creature burst through the sodden underbrush.

"Wolfheart!" It shrieked.

_She hates me she hates me she hates me_ The tom gazed down at the rapids.

"Wolfheart, please!" The figure wailed.

_She hates me she hates me _His shoulders tensed as he bunched his haunches.

"Please!" It sobbed, "Please come back!"

_She hates me she hates me _Even with his addled brain, he managed a final look towards his pursuer.

"Wolfheart! Don't leave me!" The shadow came closer and closer, green eyes shining with tears in the dark, lithe form slicked with rain.

_She hates me she hates me she hates me_ He curled his tail.

"No! Don't! Wolfheart! It's me!"

_She hates me she hates me she hates me_ He lept.

"NOOOOO!" The cat screamed, crouching low on the riverbed, horror in her ravaged yowl.

_Broken broken broken broken_ He thought from under the surging current. Closing his eyes for a final time.

"No…" The cracked whisper sounded from the bank. "I-I love you…"

_Broken broken broken _

_Drowning drowning_

_Gone_

Thunder roared. Lightning flashed. The river was still.

And Doepaw wailed her grief to Starclan.

* * *

Each night, on the first day of Leaffall, Doeheart went to the river. Today, she sat beside it, listening to the gleeful gurgle, and her tail twined with his. Ever since that night, the night of the Great Storm, she had come to the riverside with him. Today, they watched their children play. The three kits, one white and tortoiseshell, one fawn brown, and the last a playful ginger, pranced upon the soft grass near the river. _Of course, they're not kits anymore._ Doeheart thought. She smiled, gazing at her three beautiful children. Stormpaw, Rosepaw, and Lightpaw. Doeheart heard her mate whisper in her ear,

"Aren't they the playful bunch, hm?" He sighed. She replied with a light chuckle.

"Much like you were as an apprentice." She purred, licking his cheek.

"Yes, I only wish my sister could be here to see them." The tom murmured, eyes becoming clouded and distant.

"Rosefrost would be proud, my love." Doeheart mewed, pressing her face to his shoulder in comfort.

"Yes." He breathed. "I know. But I miss her."

"Oh, Tumblefoot. I do too. But, she would've wanted you to be happy." Doeheart meowed gently. It reminded her of many moons ago, after the Great Storm. Both she and Turtlesong had wept together, never left each other's side for weeks. Copperjaw and Aspenfall had told them he would've wanted them both to "be happy, and move on. Find your place." They had followed it, Turtlesong finding love in Beechclaw, and Doeheart with Tumblefoot. Deep down, she knew she would've never been as happy as she was now without that night. Doeheart laughed suddenly as two young warriors leaped out of the bushes. A black and white splotched she-cat and pale brown tabby tom with black paws, joining in the heated wresting match of the apprentice's.

"Mallowflight! Wolfclaw! Where is your mother?" Doeheart purred, greeting the two cats warmly. The tom, Wolfclaw, looked at his "aunt" and grinned.

"She and father will be along in moment. You know how long it takes her to move these days!" He meowed cheekily. Tumblefoot let out a rumbling laugh and shook his head.

"Never going to change, that one." The tortie tom chuckled.

"Well, there are always those kits who never seem to grow mature, dear. You just have to love the bright spirit." Doeheart smiled. Just then, an elegant black she-cat and handsome white tom with brown stripes emerged from the underbrush. The she cat moved slowly, careful of her swollen belly.

"Doeheart!" She called pleasantly.

"Turtlesong! Fancy meeting you here, cousin." Doeheart dipped her head towards Turtlesong. The queen settled herself down next to the fawn-colored warrior. They both sit in silence, watching their kits play, basking in the warmth of love and sunshine.

"Do you ever think of how we got here, Doeheart? " Turtlesong asked.

"Of course. Everyday. Why do you think I'm here today?" Doeheart murmured. "Why do you think I chose my name? To honor the one who set me free."

"And the name of my first born…" Turtlesong sighed. "If you had to describe it, what would you call that night?"

"I don't know…" Doeheart mewed. She looked at her kits, who pranced merrily through late-blooming wild flowers. She pressed herself against her mate, who licked her cheek in return. She took in her cousin's kits, and the litter she had on the way. Doeheart felt the love, as if it radiated from everything and everyone.

"I'd call it a blessing from Starclan." She whispered. "The perfect disaster."


End file.
